That One Time I Stalked an Author and Ended up Dating Him

Once upon a time I lived on my grandparents’ farm, by myself, in the middle of nowhere, Kansas. I had a lot of time on my hands, so I read an extra lot of books that year and a half. During that time I had become mildly obsessed with Iceland (pre everyone and their dog going there), so I looked up books about the country. One book that popped up had a naked butt on it so, intrigued, I bought it. It was called Tales of Iceland and ended up being hilarious and super informative. I loved the author’s voice so much, I looked to see what other books he had, and found Publish This Book, so I bought it as well, and my obsession grew.

I started following the author on social media, and via Twitter, found out he was teaching an online writing workshop. Really and truly wanting to improve my writing, but also wanting to get to know him more, I signed up. It was actually a really interesting class, and I learned a lot. During our last one-on-one chat he made the off-handed comment, “Well, if you’re ever in the area, let me know.”

A few months later, I actually was going to be in his area - an area I’m never in: Iowa. So I sent him a message, “So I'm aware people say things like, "If you're ever in the area let me know" all the time and don't really mean it, but just in case you did, I'm gonna be in your area - as long as you're still in Iowa - in a few weeks (weekend of Jan. 30th). Would love to take you out for a beer and talk writing with you. If that idea doesn't terrify or repulse you, let me know and we can work out the details.” Amazingly, he responded, “Hey Kelsey, yeah for sure I'll be around that weekend. Did you have a day that works better? Iowa City doesn't have grand culture around or anything, but there are enough bars for sure. ::insert phone number here:: (but please don't turn out to be a crazy psycho who sends me pics of dead animals!)” It was on.

My plan was to have dinner with him, make him fall madly in love with me (haha, just kidding - sort of…), and then go spend the night at a friend’s house another town over. We met at dinner, and it was amazing! I got to ask him so many questions about his books, and learn things about the “characters” who were his real life friends. How often do you actually get to sit with an author of a book you love, and find out all the information you’re dying to know but gets left out? It was a dream come true. As dinner was winding down, he asked if I wanted to go for a drink, and of course I said sure. After we ordered he got a text from a friend, laughed, and showed me, “So on a scale of 1 to psycho stalker, where does this chick fall??” He said he was glad I wasn’t a stalker (insert nervous laughter on my part here), and then asked if I wanted to go get some drinks with him and his friends. At this point it had started snowing, and again, I said sure.

I also need to mention that this guy was living a writer’s dream, attending the prestigious Iowa Writers’ Workshop, which meant that most of his friends were amazing writers as well. I felt immensely cool hanging out with all these creative people. We ended up drinking quite a bit, and the snow was getting insane. My friend I was going to stay with was actually married to a meteorologist and she informed me not to leave Iowa City because the roads were too bad…I was stranded in a place I knew no one but my secret crush that I was out having an amazing time with. Fate.

I explained to him what my friend said and he told me I was welcome to stay at his place, or if I felt weird about that, he was sure he had some girl friend that would put me up. I said his place was fine.

The next day, the city was a winter wonderland, and was still snow-packed. It ended up being Super Bowl Sunday and he told me he was having a party and that I should stay. I told him I’d love to but really had to drive back to Kansas, but soon after got a message from my friend that the roads were still impassible. My heart soared. I got a whole other day and night with this guy and all his writer friends.

We ended up meeting up a few more weekends over the months, and I even got him to go to a wedding in Colorado with me. Soon after, he moved to LA, which does not make for a very convenient weekend drive from Kansas, but I still think of him fondly every Super Bowl Sunday.