That One Time I Got Another Stalker?

Once upon a time, on the eve of my court date for my restraining order for my stalker, I got a knock on my door…

I walk Mischa everyday. Mischa can’t walk that far anymore, so we just walk the same lap around the block. I don’t always go at the same time, and sometimes we walk at my mom’s, so it’s at least an unpredictable schedule we keep.

Part of what I liked about my neighborhood is that it is “colorful.” The houses are all different - no cookie cutters here - the people are all different - hello different ethnicities, pride flags, and family structres - and it’s got a more “urban” vibe than the suburbs most of my friends opt for. But I think what this homeownership experiment of mine has shown me is that though I like “colorful,” “colorful” doesn’t like me.

The first few weeks of quarantine I met a guy around the block, who was out in his driveway. He was a jolly, jovial guy, with curly grey hair and a bandana around his neck, I’d guess in his late 50s or early 60s. He commented on Mischa, and smiled and waved at me. Over the last few months I’ve seen him maybe a handful of times is all. A couple weeks ago he was in his driveway again and he asked me my name. I told him, and he said his name was J. He pet Mischa, I didn’t think much of it, and we went on our way. A few days ago we saw him again, and he asked me where exactly I lived, and if I’d tell him my name again.

A friend of mine reposted a Tik Tok on her instagram recently that showed two girls playing patty-cake, but to the tune of “Don’t be polite to men who creep you out. Don’t be polite to men who creep you out. Don’t be polite to them, it’s not your job to comfort men, don’t be polite to men who creep you out.” (Seen here.) I had mixed feelings about it at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I never learned that lesson. I learned to always be polite, and kind, and “good.” And to me, that translates as not hurting peoples’ feelings or making them feel uncomfortable, even if that comes at the expense of my own comfort.

Which is why, in spite of everything going on with D, I told the guy my name again, and that I lived around the corner. When that wasn’t specific enough for him, I’m embarrassed to say that instead of just saying “No, I don’t want to tell you that information,” I added that I have a red porch. I’m not saying this guy creeps me out per se - though his asking where specifically I live made me a bit nervous - but I’d rather not just give out private information to random men, and yet somehow I still did. Why? But more importantly, why am I in these situations to begin with? I don’t know any of my other friends who deal with these sorts of things. Am I a magnet to weirdos? Am I putting out some sort of weird scent that attracts them?

Anyway, I was just about to change into my comfy clothes when I heard a knock on my front door. My dad was just here, so I thought maybe he came back for something and I opened the door to find the guy from around the corner! He smiled and said, “Hey! I had to cancel my YMCA membership because of this COVID stuff, so I was out walking the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” “Oh…” “Yeah, I thought I’d give you my address and phone number since we’re neighbors and all.” I moved to get some paper - because I didn’t know what else to do - and he said, “Oh, I’ve already got it written on a paper here for you.” and he pulled out a little notepad and ripped a paper out of it that already contained his name, address, and phone number. “Yeah, I just thought it might be fun for you to call me sometime or something.” I stared at him. “Yeah, and here…” he pulled out a business card, “I do custom leatherwork. This is my card, I can’t give you this, but take a scan with your cellphone, that’s what most people do.” So once again I obeyed, and got my cell phone and dutifully took a photo before handing the card back. “Ok, well I’m gonna go keep checking things out around the neighborhood. Give me a call sometime if you want!”

And then he left.

I’m not saying this guy’s intentions are bad, and I’m not saying this guy is a stalker or a weirdo, but is this normal behavior? The guy seems harmless, and really “jolly and jovial” are the best adjectives I can come up with to describe him, but what would make someone do what he did tonight? Am I just being paranoid because of the whole D situation, or am I finally being the proper amount of scared and weirded out by strangers? Maybe he is just being a friendly neighbor. Or maybe he is the next D. I suppose only time will tell.